No deus ex machina
by Irish carbomb
Summary: There isn't always a saving grace to halt disaster.  redone


_Redone because I'm thinking of turning this into a multichapter story. Changed quite a bit, added a lot, spelled the title correctly. Hopefully it's better. If you happened to have read and remembered the original version, please let me know if it's an improvement, the same thing, or an abortion._

_-II-_

"You seem to have caught me at a bad time, Rukia. What to do with you now that you've got me with my mental barriers down?" This is the first thing out of his mouth when she stumbles upon him in the streets, the result of hours of searching for Ichigo, who had abruptly disappeared a day ago. And it _is_ Ichigo in the road, except for the pallid skin and dead ring eyes and horrible, horrible smile. Belatedly, she manages to find her voice and tries her best to make it strong. "I won't allow you to do anything, hollow."

He cocks his head. All she sees is teeth. "I'm not just a hollow, Rukia. I'm Ichigo, with none of his frivolous hang ups and weights attached. I can do what I want now and not give a damn. I am everything every human secretly wants to be."

He flashes in front of her, big and pale and tracing her collar bone just under the edge of her gi. She inhales at the sudden proximity and the unnatural coolness of his fingertips against her skin.

"I've waited awhile."

That is too much to deal with on top of the appearance of this mutation in the guise of her partner. She violently pushes his hand away and flashsteps, knowing without looking that she is being followed.

-II-

The chase is long. They fight when they meet each other, completely silent, trading superficial blows, she because she doesn't want to hurt him, he because he's playing with her, and then she will dart away and he will take a moment to let her rest before following.

-II-

Somewhere in the park they pause in their fight, and he breaks the silence for the first time.

"Aren't you going to ask me what I'm up to?" He smiles invitingly at her. Rukia takes a moment and pushes her hair from her face. She can feel sweat and blood on her hands, one cool, the other warm. She takes a moment to breathe before answering in the negative.

"Oh. Too bad, I was prepared for some exposition." He leans back against a tree, examining a cut with apparent disdain. His white Zangetsu is pushed into the ground in front of him. She raises an eyebrow. She could have him in a wall of ice in seconds flat and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Did he know that? How much was the hollow privy to in Ichigo's head?

Instead of attacking she says, "You'll just tell me your motives?"

He looks up in surprise, and glee. "They aren't exactly a secret, Rukia. I'm disappointed in you!" He glances at the cut again, and then wipes it on his white gi in dismissal. A streak of crimson appears on his front.

"Just to let you know, even though you don't apparently care to hear it, I'm gonna do whatever's gonna get me the farthest in the long run, and in the long run I plan to be doing whatever I want."

Rukia narrows her eyes. He seems nonchalant, but she doesn't miss the way his hands are aimed at Zangetsu's hilt no matter where they are.

"You do, do you?"

"Sure do." He smiles slow. "Ichigo never lets _go_, ya know? And it kind of sucks just sitting around in his head all day, watching him mess up everything he does." He flashes a look at her; something that smolders more than such cold eyes should ever be able to.

_Damn it_, She thinks, and flashes forward anyway, because she's too strung along to stand still at the moment and there's something else flinching in her mind, something that has to do with his voice next to her ear and the glint of his eyes.

She was absolutely right. He was waiting for her. His hands are around Zangetsu's hilt before she can take three flash steps towards him. Shirayuki blocks the sword, but Rukia fails to block the hollow's hand, which sinks itself into her stomach twice in quick succession.

The hollow steps back, observing her in silence as she hacks a few drops of red onto the grass, half collapsing in desperation for breath.

"I'm Ichigo."

Rukia coughs.

"His motives, his thoughts, they're mine, because I'm him. He's got the right idea about what he needs to do, he just doesn't have the balls to make stuff happen."

He crouches down to her level and looks her straight in the eye.

"Do you see? You can say what you want to make yourself feel better, but I'm not a stupid beast or a separate soul. I'm not a different person. I'm Ichigo." He taps his chest where his heart would be. "Just with more drive."

When she reaches for her sword he punches her again. It hurts; deep down it hurts, not just on the surface but also somewhere in between her heart and stomach, an internal bruise that keeps getting bigger. She wonders if it'll ever go away.

Through the haze of pain she grabs Shirayuki and summons her last few reserves of energy to disappear.

-II-

She finally stops on some roof a couple miles from Ichigo's house, gasping for breath and clutching her throbbing stomach and thinking a mile a minute.

If the hollow is telling the truth, (and she refuses to believe that he is, but just in case,) then anything he did… would be something that Ichigo wanted to do. Rukia paused.

If the hollow was Ichigo, why should she be so worried? What could Ichigo possibly be motivated to do, even deep down, that would be bad? Then again…

She expels a shuddering breath. Ichigo's subconscious was running naked through the streets. And even though she was perfectly aware of the danger, she couldn't help but feel ashamed for him.

The hollow explodes out of the dark and hits her in the back like an avalanche from nowhere.

"I'm tired of chasing you," He whispers. His tongue follows his words out and into the shell of her ear.

"What's your plan hollow?" Rukia says quietly, working hard to make her voice strong and ignore the feeling of his stomach against her back, her wrists pinned by larger hands and her legs held by larger legs. "Will you conquer the world? Soul society? Will you destroy anyone who's ever wronged you?"

"I have no interest in world domination." He sounds annoyed. "And don't worry- my enemies will be purged all in good time. But I figure I should start with what's in front of me."

His cool hand slips down her gi to press against her breast, pushing her up against him with his grip, and she gasps at the cold feeling and something else that she won't place, because it would shame her to do it.

-II-

The hollow is slow, almost methodical, in his exploration. He traces the scars on her body with reverence, only with one hand because the other is busy keeping her immobile. He trails just the tips of his fingers across her breasts, smoothly brushes her nipples into hard little beads. When he strays to the edge of her hakama, she almost gets away on a surge of adrenaline.

"No need for that," He chuckles in her ear, though his voice is strained. "I'm not gonna kill you or anything."

"I know," Rukia whispers, her breath short because he's crushing her back into his chest between his knees and her wrists are burning in his grip. His breath is ragged against her neck, but from exhaustion or something else, she can't tell.

"Good," He says, crushing her harder. His hand slips across her obi, pulling it loose with slightly shaking hands. "Good."

-II-

Rukia has never felt this way in her life, like time has stopped and it is just her and this boy monster, burning friction against her very core reverberating up her spine and shaking her thoughts away. She hears the hollow's panting breaths sync with her own, and in his excitement he sounds like something from her subconscious, from nights past when her traitorous mind would craft ideas that left her trembling and breathless.

But these aren't coherent thoughts; what she is most aware of is the cool hands against her stomach and thighs, pushing insistently inside with quick, rough movements, her legs held open by his. Her thoughts fire off quickly one right after the other, none staying for too long before being replaced by a new one, but an overarching thought remains, always why.

"Does this feel good?"

She refuses to answer.

"Does it Rukia? Tell me."

She focuses on her breathing, quick and light and ragged. He chuckles.

"I thought so."

-II-

"This is not my body," He says wistfully. His hands are stroking alternating light and fast, hard and slow. "My true self is beautiful, strong, powerful. It is the form of a god. And it is in that body, Rukia, that I will make Ichigo's love to you."

She makes a sound halfway between a curse and a moan, and he grins into her shoulder, pressing her back against his chest harder with his free hand. He speeds the actions of his other hand, and Rukia expels a shuddering breath in response.

"It will be better than whatever this paltry body could ever give you, Rukia. This I promise."

-II-

"Why?" She manages to choke out later. He no longer bothers to restrain her, as she has stopped struggling long before. He now devotes all his attention to exploring her every inch he can reach with his hands and fingers and mouth.

"What was that Rukia?" She feels his mouth on her neck, biting and trailing his tongue across the marks he leaves.

"Why?"

The hollow pauses, except for the fingers inside her. Those keep moving.

"Because I want to. Because Ichigo wants to."

She half hisses half whimpers when she feels his fingers move much harder, stroking brutally along her inner walls. His other hand returns to her breasts, pinching the nipples into hard little beads.

"I am doing this because. That is my reason. It is a good reason. You should understand that."

His hand leaves her breast and glides lower. Rukia feels her breath hitching traitorously in her throat, a swell of pleasure building somewhere in her abdomen. She makes one last effort to push away from him, but she is halted when he pulls her legs farther apart with his own.

"Rukia? Is it a good reason?"

He dips his hand to the bud above her entrance, rubbing in quick rough circles. The sudden flood of sensation makes her reel back against him as the feelings build further, stacking and growing with each touch. The hollow leans forward and presses his lips to her cheek. She feels him grinning.

"He wishes he was the one doing this to you."

She gasps, her hands gripping his thighs spasmodically. He laughs low and quiet in her ear. "What's the matter, Rukia? Don't you want your first come to be from me?"

She can't breathe properly. There seems to be dark spots obscuring her vision, destroying any focus she had left. And the movement of his fingers is ever there, relentless and undeniable. He kiss/bites her neck one last time and murmurs, "I can wait my turn. But for now, it would seem best… if _he_ gave it to you."

Abruptly, the cool hands on her body darken from white to tan and become impossibly warm against her chilled skin, and the combination of the constant motion that continues after the change and the sudden warmth inside of her smashes Rukia's restraint to pieces on a sudden overwhelming tide of pleasure. Ichigo wraps his arms around her writhing, trembling body and whispers brokenly "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry", even though they both know something irreversible and undeniable has taken place, as undeniable as his movement inside her that didn't stop, and her not telling him to.


End file.
